Perspective is everything, and I'm not saying that because mine is perfect all the time or even half the time. But anyone who knows anything about anything and has lived longer than thirty years, (I'm biased, sorry), understands the importance of looking from an objective eye. For instance, the other day I was sitting in church, and the lady beside me was picking off hitchhikers from a pink, wool scarf in her lap. This went on for what seemed like five minutes, but to the people behind her, this could have been longer depending on their attention span and focus level. To me, this was distracting, but I had to ask myself why. Was it because I was taught to sit still in church, be quiet, and pay attention, and she wasn't abiding by the rules that I had to abide by? Was it because I was trying to pay attention to the sermon and she was not, disrespecting me by not listening as hard as I was trying to? Or was I irritated because she was my best friend and she was not as interested in what I was interested in? Now if you take those three scenarios apart, you will notice one common denominator- the word I was present in all of them. My ideas were all self surrounded. If we think that way, we ignore the perspective of another, don't we? Instead of seeing my friend as a mom who just loved her little girl, and didn't want to see her favorite little, pink scarf torn up and ragged looking, I was seeing something totally different, and it was very singular and very one-sided. She could have been exasperated that her daughter had gotten hitchhikers all over her new scarf, and frustrated that the things that she spends her hard earned money on aren't treated nicely, the way she treated her things when she was a little girl. She could have been pulling those hitchhikers off the sweater because she knew she wouldn't have the time and energy to do it later. Whatever the reason that she found it important enough to disturb my time in church, it was not a good enough reason. But for who was it not a good enough reason? For me? Of course. Because again, I was thinking about numero uno. And we all do that. It's so sad how much we think of ourselves sometimes. We forget what life is all about. We spend so much energy trying to make our own lives livable that we forget the golden rule. We ignore the things that matter. We look at things from one direction and often do not even think that maybe, just maybe someone else might be going through something.
We think that when someone treats us poorly- maybe doesn't call for awhile, might not ping on Facebook, text us back, call during a crisis, send a card after one, etc., that he doesn't care enough, that he's not paying attention, not giving enough to the relationship. The reality is that he is probably going through something himself. Maybe it's not him that's the jerk- maybe it's you. Maybe you should have checked up on him. Maybe you could have gone the extra step to call a few more times, and sensed that the world doesn't revolve around you. Maybe your friend needs someone to talk to right now, and maybe he is holing inside a cold, scary place that needs you to come looking. Either way you look at it, people all hurt. We all do things differently, handle situations differently, and ultimately need each other regardless of how hard we might try to act like we don't.
I'm not really sure what prompted me to write about this tonight, but I guess I was feeling like I needed to take a step back and open my eyes. There is so much hurt out in the world that I hate to be a contributor, so I decided not to be.
We think that when someone treats us poorly- maybe doesn't call for awhile, might not ping on Facebook, text us back, call during a crisis, send a card after one, etc., that he doesn't care enough, that he's not paying attention, not giving enough to the relationship. The reality is that he is probably going through something himself. Maybe it's not him that's the jerk- maybe it's you. Maybe you should have checked up on him. Maybe you could have gone the extra step to call a few more times, and sensed that the world doesn't revolve around you. Maybe your friend needs someone to talk to right now, and maybe he is holing inside a cold, scary place that needs you to come looking. Either way you look at it, people all hurt. We all do things differently, handle situations differently, and ultimately need each other regardless of how hard we might try to act like we don't.
I'm not really sure what prompted me to write about this tonight, but I guess I was feeling like I needed to take a step back and open my eyes. There is so much hurt out in the world that I hate to be a contributor, so I decided not to be.
